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Aaron’s Journey

Falling in love with the process

It is a beautiful summer evening in New Hampshire and John and I are sipping wine and listening to the rippling water of our garden pond.

“I want to foster a dog,” I say, hesitantly.

A bullfrog croaks. Then silence. A second bullfrog answers.

More silence. Deafening silence.

“I’ve tried to figure a way NOT to do this”, I confessed. “I’ve said all along…no way I can do the foster thing…I’ll just be happy with the dogs I have, I’ve tried to find other ways to help…and, I have. I just,….well the fact is, I’m sorry but…,”

A third bullfrog and an answer from a fourth, a ‘whoo- whoo’ from that barred owl that we’ve been hearing all summer adds to the discourse. Then,

“There’s this dog….”

Well, the conversation continued for some time and then ended abruptly. We talked about other things. We had a bit more wine.

It’s hard, really, to work through the feelings, the marital stress, the other-dog stress, the schedule challenges. Ultimately, though, it’s about being clear about intentions. Why foster a dog? Especially one who is clearly damaged and who will demand a great deal of time, heart break and effort?

Why foster this dog? So that I can have a new dog?

Are you kidding? I have two beautiful female dogs. Jazz and Jane. Jazz is my rescue from Hurricane Katrina. Jane is a rescue, of sorts. I am in love with both of them. They are lovely, quirky, sweet, quirky, gentle. Did I say quirky? Did I say lovely? If I thought a third dog was a good idea, I’d go get one. I’d adopt one who wasn’t so quirky.

A few weeks ago, during a Sunday service at our church, the leader posed a question to those present:

“Can fostering peace, compassion within oneself, foster peace within the community and will this have an impact on the larger world?”

I thought long and hard about the question. Peace? What does peace have to do with saving a scruffy dog from a South Carolina incinerator? I mean, really. Peace is about people, right? People living together, people getting along, people recognizing the worth of all other people, absence of war among…people. Peace means no fighting? Learning to live with…learning to live with…

…the quirkiness. Learning to melt in the loveliness of another being, or at least learning to appreciate our commonality as beings on a planet. That’s it. Fostering a being, be it dog, cat, turtle or child is an active and ultimate expression of peace within community. Agreeing to feed, house, love, care for the emotional needs of, clean up after, make space for….bond with, a being, with an intent to eventually “hand over” the being to another is one of the most vital ways I can think of to foster peace within my community.

In the case of our foster dog, Aaron, learning to understand, appreciate, indeed embrace, his quirks and his loveliness is the best shot I have at promoting peace in the world. Really. It’s one dog. Who cares?

Well, I care. Fall in love with a foster dog? Maybe. Keep him?

Are you kidding? I have my Jazz. I have my Jane. I have cats and turtles. It took me a looooong time to fall in love with them. Many months, years. Fostering is different. It’s a job. It’s a journey. A road to peace. And, I’m falling in love with this latest road to fostering peace. The process of learning to understand the quirks. Leaning to embrace the loveliness. Then letting go. So Aaron’s real family… the people who will continue with him on the journey till he leaves our planet, can blaze their own trail, begin their own journey, toward peace.

Aaron

Our setup needs tweaking...

How is our foster dog, Aaron, doing? Well, you can tell by the photo that our setup needs tweaking. Our intention was that he have a large crate attached to an xpen. We began transitioning him out of the small crate he was in when we brought him home, to the larger one. It would provide him with more space to move around in. And, since there’s a side door, it would be easier to teach him the power of belly rubs. Well, Aaron is jumping over the xpen and as you can see, he’s standing atop the large crate.

We all learned today. I learned that he is more comfortable approaching me if my head and shoulders are lowered. For now, eye contact is an exercise and a game, not something he is comfortable with. Also, language does very little for him. Keep it simple, keep it quiet. Finally, Aaron learned that life isn’t quite as scary as he thought, at least some of the time. He learned that really good things happen when either John or I walk into the room. He discovered what beef kidney and beef heart tastes like. He learned that chest scratches, when paired with peanut butter are pretty darn good.

The quirks and loveliness….we’re on the road to fostering peace.

Ummm…About that harness…

Aaron's harness

Our first harness experience

Well, there you have it. I thought it would be a grand idea to get you into a harness, Aaron.

Geez. It wasn’t so bad getting that harness over your head, even. You’re getting pretty darn comfortable with that constant exchange of food for a gentle touch. Really, those front legs went right through the two holes in the front, Aaron. Great job! Took a little extra effort but we accomplished it. Wow! What a dog.

Hey… you know by now that nothing is free at the Mary Doane home for wayward dogs. You gotta work for stuff. Hey Aar…that harness was the first step toward a world beyond the room you’ve been living in since last Saturday morning. It’s getting a little boring, don’t you think? I mean, what kind of dog wants to live in the basement? Just think, Aaron. That harness gives you freedom! You can lie in the sweet New Hampshire grass for as long as you want. You can even roll in it. You can kick those feet in the air and take in all the freshness of these beautiful summer mornings. You can sniff out all the wild animals who used this yard as a playground last night. Or a feeding ground. Aaron….did you know that the deer ate three of my favorite Hosta plants last night? Ate the tops right off ‘em. You need that harness, Aaron.

With that harness in place, you can meet those two dogs you’ve been hearing and smelling since you arrived. They’d sure like to get to know you, for sure, tho you’ll have to watch out for that Jane. You step out of line and she’ll put you right in your place. And Jazz will only want to play. Immediately. By the way, Aaron… that harness you chewed up? It belonged to Jane. And she loved that harness.

Aaron with yogurt container

That cool nose game we’ve been playing in the basement? You know…the game where John or I drop cooked chicken into countless yogurt containers and cardboard boxes and hide them all over your room? Just so you can find them? Just to help keep you focused and learning? Those large size yogurt containers are just great, too. Your head fits perfectly, and you have a bit of a challenge getting the chicken off the bottom. Well… there’s a gazillion yogurt containers and small cardboard boxes placed for you around the property. In the bushes. Over by the pond. The entrance to the woods. All waiting for you, Aaron…

Probably should have thought twice about chewing up that harness.

That harness means a lot more than just being able to hang around the yard, by the way. It gives all of us a lot of flexibility. New experiences! Walks in the woods at dusk. Aaron, you won’t believe the wood thrush who’s living in an old hemlock tree down on Thurston Pond Road. And in case you’re wondering, a new family of chipmunks moved into the rock wall at the end of the road. I figured you for a chipmunk kind of a dog. Jazzie would join you in that game, for sure. And, since you’re looking a little better after that brushing yesterday, I was thinking that perhaps a ride into Exeter might do you some good, Aaron. A little change of pace. Some fabulous new smells. A walk down Water St. Stop in and see Dan at the Water St. Bookstore. He loves dogs! Hey, I heard somebody in that bookstore might be looking for a dog. Advertising! Advertising!

I was going to include that harness in your adoption fee…

Tomorrow I’m going to get you a new harness, Aaron. We’re going to work on having you follow me. You’re beginning to trust me, right Aar? We’re going to fit you with a new harness, Aaron. And then….we’re going outside.

The hardest part…

There is no chance that I’m thinking of writing a book about all the things I’ve learned so far as foster parent to a wayward dog from South Carolina. No way. It’s absolutely not necessary and besides, there are already wonderful books on the topic. And, it’s not a good use of my time. I’m an educator and a musician…. not an author. But, if I DID decide to write such a book, I’d title it, “It’s just a Hunch” and I’d already be on page 127.

Aaron

Please....help

The journey with Aaron began with a hunch… a suspicion that this dog, formally called Beaver, was a dog to save. Well, that’s a bit silly, because most every dog in a high kill shelter slated for euthanization should be saved. But this dog was the one who I locked eyes with. Of course, I’d tweeted many dogs before, sharing their images and pleas for help on Facebook. So, why this dog? There’s no concrete explanation other than this: Something happened. Forget the locking eyes part. That’s just a more sane way of saying this dog… screamed at me? Whispered to me? Pleaded with me? “Please. Help. Me. Please. Please. …. help me. Just… help… me.”

Okay. It was a hunch. I’m good with that…I did what it took to help him. I had the “talk” with husband, John. I tweeted back and forth till 2 am with my anipals one night. I sent emails to trusted colleagues and had a number of phone conversations as well. I secured a local rescue to “over see” this dog, with a promise to list him on their website when he’s ready for his permanent home. And through the patient efforts of South Carolina rescuers, Beth Leermakers and Susan Blakeney, who both had hunches of their own, we got him here. He’s not “Beaver” anymore. He gets a new chance at life and he needs a name that, I think, is more fitting. It was a hunch, sort of a premonition, and it came to me one day shortly before his arrival: “And his name is Aaron” It means Mountain of Strength. Yes. I figured he’d need that..there’s power in a name like that.

But it isn’t enough to just get the dog here. You still have to listen. You have to listen to your gut. To the voice inside. The little one. What’s the voice saying? What’s the dog saying? What’s your spouse saying? That’s a lot to figure out and now I don’t have time for that. I want us to make immediate progress. I begin using different foods to communicate with him. What I really want is to hurry up and slow down. I want this dog, Aaron, to take his time becoming acclimated to this new life. And I also want him to hurry up. I want him to prove something. I want to prove something. And I stop listening to this little hunch I’d had when he first arrived…

And my hunch was this: “feed Aaron the same food as he was eating in the shelter in Darlington, South Carolina. Don’t change things too fast. Yes. You want to communicate with him and food seems to be the way to do it. But don’t give him too many foods that he isn’t accustomed to eating. He’s never had plain yogurt. He’s never had kefir. And, pumpkin for loose stools? I doubt it. He’s never tasted beef heart. Beef jerky, even for dogs… never had it, probably. Almond butter…. are you kidding? Ricotta cheese… even a little bit… may not… work… so … well. Keep it simple… stupid.”

But I did it anyway. I fed all those new foods and more! We were forging ahead toward the goal! He learned to come out of his crate in search of all these foods. He willingly exchanged touches for a tasty morsel of beef tongue. He learned “Sit” and “Down”, eeezy shmeezy. So what if his stools got a little looser each day? I ignored that. We ran a fecal on Saturday to rule out parasites… giardia…Not there. So why the diarrhea? Stress? And then the vomiting began. So did the medications: Metronidazole, Drontal Plus, Imodium.

Last night I had a foster dog with stomach gurgles that I could hear in the next room. And he wouldn’t eat or drink anything. He curled himself into a ball at the back of his crate. I wish I’d listened to that voice. Followed my gut. I should have fed the same old boring kibble then mixed in some chicken and rice after a day or so. I should have waited on the yogurt, kefir, beef heart, kidney, almond butter, etc….

“Okay, lighten up, Mary Doane,” says @barrie. “This is on-the-job learning and it’s not easy.” She’s right. If fostering a dog from unknown origins, background, whose likes and dislikes were easy and straight forward, more people would do it. But it’s not a simple task, in fact, fostering a dog is complex on many different levels. . . not the least of which is learning to follow each and every hunch to its end. It’s the hardest part. Really, it’s the “crux of the matter, isn’t it?

My Seminary professors used to say, “And the crux of the matter is….” Well, in Seminary “the crux” concerned matters of omnipotence, omniscience, original sin, and “ground of all being” As in, questions about immaculate conception, univeral law and divine plan….As in, I could never answer that.

Aaron the foster dog

Not your average dog

But Aaron is a dog, not a theological principle. He’s a dog with a gurgly upset stomach who, last night, had fluids coming out of both ends. Nutritional overload. The crux of the matter is that I wanted this dog to hurry up yet take his time. I set him on the road to a speedy rehabilitation when he arrived from SC so he could prove to the world what a great dog he is…Throw on the harness, tear it up, throw on another harness…get outside….push, push, push. Oh, the truth, it hurts so. The crux of the matter continues: I wanted Aaron to prove me right. See how fast he’s progressing? I’m on the right track, correct?

Well, yes…. and no. He’s not ready to wear a harness yet. And, despite what friends and colleagues say, my hunch is that he’s not ready to be outside yet, either. I’m sure his scruffy, thin canine body was not prepared for that rich variety of foods I offered and he gladly accepted. He’s not ready to come up the basement stairs into the living room. He’s not ready to hear talk of his bio posting on the Puppy Angels Website. What he is happy to do is move somewhat freely between the two rooms downstairs. He’s more than willing to carry yogurt containers from one room to another. He is taking great pleasure in making off with my coffee cup. He’s pleased to follow me around, if I have food for him. He’s prepared to accept a brief touch or two from John and I, so long as there is something in it for him…

Aaron

Belly up

Aaron is showing absolutely wonderful signs of being one of the nicest fellows on the planet. And, he is very willing to snooze belly up in his oversized crate while listening to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata on Pandora radio. And, he seems to like Mozart and Brahms as well. But Yanni? He could take him or leave him….

He’s a good dog, that one.

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